american doll houses

I have no idea what is happening to me. Iapos;m changing, Iapos;m become someone i donapos;t wanna be. I know no one reads this, but for those emos, dont take it personal (what im about to write).
I cut myself what the fuck, i dont cut, and i have no idea why, but today i started, i cut myself once, twice, and more and more and more, and i couldnapos;t stop. Now my arms are covered in red lines i dont know what i can do to cover them. The kids at my school judge a lot, and theyapos;re gonna think iapos;m emo. I dont give a shit if they call me emo, cause i know im not. I dont have the puffy and choppy hair with the streaks, i dont dress in black with the neon colors, i dont even own converse, well i do, but i left them at my dadapos;s house and now, sadly, i cant ever get them back and they were pretty�they had different tones of gray in squares (checkered) and pink skulls, and 4 laces, black and white. :apos;( I miss them.
anyways, its the first time i cut myself willingly.
When i told Lisette i thought i was becoming emo, she looked at me like "WHAT�THE�FUCK?". Lisette, who is a close friend, not my best, but a close one, didnapos;t let me... Umm... Express? my opinion??? that was weird.
I started writing this post at 9:25 and now its 10:20. I wasnt 55 minutes writing this, i dont type that slow lol. I was learning how to play Zanarkand on th piano. I love that song, iapos;ve been listening to it since i was a little girl, thanks to my brother. Now, sadly i dont listen to it anymore... Ever since... He left. I miss him a lot. I never told him that.
well, i gotta go. Honestly, i wish i could make it longer, MUCH longer, but my mother is fucking bothering me saying ANNE ITS 12 and my fucking laptop says its 11 it must be the fucking present who changed the time. :@���������� I�HATE�LIVING�HERE � my life was pretty much ruined. And its all my motherapos;s fault.

bye,
anne.

PS: the subject "quid fit".... Well, thats latin for whats happening.
PPS: i feel really relieved. When i cut myself the weight came of my shoulder for a sec, and playing Zanarkand brought me so many fond memories of my brother and i.
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